How to Stop Legislators From Acting Like Hedge Fund Bros
In the grand casino that is Wall Street, everyone — from your savvy grandmother to the high-school dropout turned crypto guru — wants a slice of the American Pie (and I’m not talking about the movie). But what happens when the dealers start playing the game? Enter Congress, where the house always wins, and where ‘insider trading’ isn’t a scandal, it’s more like a job perk.
Conflicts of Interest: More Obvious Than a Comb Over in a Hurricane
Let’s cut to the chase: members of Congress have access to non-public information. From pending regulations that could decimate industries to government contracts that could bolster small tech firms into the stratosphere. When they trade stocks with this knowledge, it’s not just unseemly; it’s like playing poker with a marked deck.
Imagine this: you’re a legislator. You know tomorrow’s headlines today. Could you resist the urge to adjust your portfolio? If your answer is a saintly “yes,” you’re either lying or you need to be canonized. This isn’t just a theoretical problem. Studies show that portfolios of senators outperform the market by 12% annually. Either every member of Congress is the next Warren Buffett, or there’s something fishy in the Potomac.
Public Service or Self-Service?
The job description for a lawmaker shouldn’t read like an investment banker’s. Public trust? Obliterated. The notion that you can serve public interest and your investment portfolio simultaneously is like believing you can diet by eating salad topped with cheeseburgers.
When lawmakers trade stocks, especially in sectors they regulate, they’re serving their net worth, not their constituents. It’s as if they’ve swapped the Congressional oath for Gordon Gekko’s mantra: “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” Spoiler: It’s not.
The Distraction Factor
Running a country is hard enough without having to monitor stock tickers. We need our legislators focused on policy, not the NASDAQ. If they’re busy day trading, who’s running the country? Spoiler alert: no one. Or even worse, someone with more self-interest than a toddler in a toy store.
The Optics (and Ethics) Are Worse Than a Bad Meme
Let’s talk optics. Even if every stock trade is above board, it looks terrible. It’s like showing up to a vegan dinner party with a meat lover’s pizza. It just doesn’t sit well.
And ethics? If you have insider information and you act on it in the market, you go to jail. Unless you make the laws, apparently. This isn’t just a bad look; it’s a masterclass in the art of losing public faith.
The Simple Solution: Ban It
So, what do we do? The solution is simpler than a two-ingredient recipe: ban stock trading for Congress members. Put their investments in a blind trust. They can have them back when they leave office. If we remove the incentives for financial gain through privileged information, we might just get legislators who are interested in legislating rather than leveraging.
Clean House, and Senate
Banning Congress from trading stocks isn’t about punishing success; it’s about separating power from profit. It’s about restoring a fragment of faith in a system that seems, at times, irreparably broken. It’s about making sure that the only stocks our lawmakers are picking are on the shelves of their public service, not their private portfolios.
In conclusion, if we can’t trust our lawmakers to make decisions without the sweet whisper of stock gains in their ears, then maybe it’s time to change the players, not just the game. Because at the end of the day, a government that serves the people should not be outperformed by the S&P 500
