My Emancipation Day
This morning is different. This morning, I am free.
Today is the day that I made my last student loan payment.
Today marks my freedom from the abyss of student loans, an epic cluster-expletive, which has managed to cripple the American dream and saddle the aspirational youth with a crushing burden.
Picture this: the bastards in charge have taken the pursuit of knowledge and turned it into an odyssey of financial heartache, a tale of trillion-dollar missteps.
As of 2021, student loan debt in the United States had skyrocketed to a staggering $1.7 trillion, dwarfing credit card debt and auto loans. We’ve got millions of young people drowning in debt, unable to make a dent in their loan principal. It’s the manifestation of the modern-day Dickensian nightmare.
One major pitfall is the exorbitant cost of higher education, fueled by a grotesque cocktail of administrative bloat, bloated marketing budgets, and the unwarranted pursuit of fancy facilities. These institutions are more like Fortune 500 companies than temples of enlightenment. Are we here to learn or to engage in a never-ending pissing contest over who has the most luxurious gym?
Let’s not forget the predatory nature of private student loans. Students are lured into borrowing more than they can chew, and these wolves in sheep’s clothing (aka loan providers) couldn’t care less about the borrowers’ financial future. They’re just in it to squeeze every last penny from these bright-eyed, bushy-tailed young dreamers.
The abysmal lack of financial literacy in the student loan space is appalling. You’ve got 18-year-olds making life-altering decisions, signing on the dotted line for tens, even hundreds, of thousands of dollars without fully understanding the consequences. And who’s to blame?
Look no further than the incestuous relationship between universities, government, and loan providers.
Finally, let’s talk about the tragedy of underemployment. Thanks to this steaming pile of student loan excrement, we’ve got highly educated individuals flipping burgers or driving for Uber just to keep their heads above water. We’re breeding an overqualified and underutilized generation, and it’s a colossal waste of talent and resources.
In short, the student loan crisis is a testament to a broken system, an orgy of greed and negligence that has shackled a generation into a sick 21st century of slavery.
Today, I am free.
