You Don’t Owe Anyone Access To You
Availability Is Not A Measure of Worth
You don’t owe anyone access to you.
We live in a world of infinite access. Email, social media, Slack, LinkedIn, WhatsApp — you name it. Someone, somewhere, is trying to reach you, interrupt you, demand a slice of your time. And for what? To sell you something you don’t need, to ask for a favor they haven’t earned, or to offload their anxiety onto you like you’re their personal therapist on demand.
Here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone access to you. Not your coworkers, not your friends, not even your family — at least, not on demand. Access is a privilege, not a right. And in a world where boundaries are thinner than ever, reclaiming your time and energy is an act of self-respect, not selfishness.
The Cost of Constant Access
Let’s talk about opportunity cost. Every time you answer that email within five minutes, jump on an unplanned Zoom call, or respond to a midnight text, you’re trading something valuable — your focus, your peace, your sleep. The idea that being “always available” is a virtue? That’s corporate propaganda. It’s a ticket to burnout, and worse, mediocrity. Constant interruptions shred your ability to think deeply, work creatively, and most importantly, live meaningfully.
Think of the most successful people you admire. Are they answering emails at 11 p.m.? Are they attending every impromptu meeting that pops up? No. They have systems. They have assistants. They have boundaries so high they might as well be medieval castle walls.
Availability is Not a Measure of Worth
Being busy is not a badge of honor, and being always accessible doesn’t make you more valuable — it makes you more replaceable. If your worth is measured by how quickly you respond to Slack messages, then congratulations, you’ve been commoditized.
Real impact comes from focus. It comes from deep work, from saying “no” to the things that don’t matter so you can say “hell yes” to the things that do. Every yes is a no to something else, and access is the same. You give everyone access, you give away your time, your energy, and eventually, your self.
Setting Boundaries Like a Pro
Let’s be honest — saying “no” is uncomfortable. We worry about disappointing people, about being perceived as difficult or unhelpful. But here’s the reality: no one will respect your time if you don’t. You have to teach people how to engage with you.
A few practical tips:
- Be explicit: Set office hours for your availability and stick to them. If Jeff Bezos can do it, so can you.
- Technology is your friend: Use auto-responders, schedule emails, and set Do Not Disturb on everything you own.
- Learn the art of polite refusal: “I wish I could, but my plate is full right now.” Period. No explanations required.
- Prioritize ruthlessly: If it’s not moving the needle, it’s not worth your attention.
- Audit your access points: Who really needs immediate access to you? Spoiler: It’s fewer people than you think.
The Fear of Missing Out vs. The Joy of Missing Out
Many of us struggle with access boundaries because we fear missing out. What if that impromptu meeting leads to a breakthrough? What if ignoring that email costs us an opportunity? Here’s the flip side — what if constant access is the reason you’re missing out on the things that truly matter? Time with your family, uninterrupted work, or simply the ability to think without distraction.
The Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) is the new flex. It’s about being intentional with your time, about reclaiming your autonomy, and about choosing quality over quantity when it comes to human interactions. Less noise, more signal.
Conclusion: Protect Your Energy Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)
The most valuable resource you have isn’t money, status, or even talent — it’s your energy. Every distraction drains it, every unnecessary meeting erodes it, and every unwarranted access chips away at it. Guarding your access isn’t about being aloof; it’s about being deliberate.
So, the next time someone demands access to you, ask yourself: Is this serving my goals? Is this adding value to my life? If the answer is no, give yourself permission to ignore, decline, or delay. Because at the end of the day, your life’s too short to be at everyone else’s beck and call.
Set the boundary. Lock the door. Protect your peace. And remember — you don’t owe anyone access to you.
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